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A Hell of a Cell/Transcript
This article is a transcript of the Weird World: The TV Show episode "A Hell of a Cell" from season one, which aired on July 19, 2019. *(the episode begins with Olly the postman whistling while walking up the rainbow steps, onto the rocky hill to George's house with a package in his arm, then he rings the doorbell and Sponghuck opens the door) *Sponghuck: What? *Olly: I have a package for a Mr... purple sponge on a bubble wearing a balaclava. Is that you? *Sponghuck: No. Actually, I'm Annie Lennox. You know, singer of Eurythmics? Give me that! *(Sponghuck snatches the box off Olly and slams the door, but Olly whistles and walks off unconcerned) *(Spoonghuck goes into the kitchen and starts opening the box, when George enters still in his pyjamas) *George Jacqueline: *Yawns* Morning, Sponghuck. I was just feeding the fish. Hey, you've got a package? *Sponghuck: Yes. I have got a package. It's mine. Aye? *George Jacqueline: Aye? *Sponghuck: Aye. *(Craig enters) *Craig: Eye! *George Jacqueline: Piss off, Craig. *(Craig bounces away) *Sponghuck: Now, we've these protective gloves, which I always have on, I am gonna slowly and steadily lift the item out of the box. Gently, slowly... *(Sponghuck shakes a bit, but he slowly takes out of the box a cell phone and harmonies play and a bright light turns on as he raises it up) *George Jacqueline: Oh, my goodness. What is it? *(the harmonies stop and the light turns off) *Sponghuck: It's a special black brick with calculator buttons and a long drumstick that you can move up and do... it's a cell phone! *George Jacqueline: Wow, you've actually brought yourself a phone? Now you take photos, listen to music, surf the internet, read the news and many other stuff you do on phones. *Sponghuck: George, this phone does none of those things. It's only used for phone calls, which is why phones were invented - so you can talk to people, not other silly stuff that's common nowadays. *George Jacqueline: Sponghuck, modern phones can do a variety of things, unlike that phone in which you just press numbers like on a calculator and talk to people from as far as Guinea-Bissau. I would never use that sort of phone. *Sponghuck: Whatever. *(Sponghuck floats off dialing a number on the phone) *(Molly, Mitchell and Mickey, George's fish are shown) *Mickey: (slams his lips) Why does our food taste like cornflakes? *Mitchell: George did look very tired. Mind, you he was up a bit late last night. He must of accidentally fet us cornflakes. *Mickey: Then, what did he do with the fish food? *(Molly pictures in her mind George eating fish food from a bowl) *George Jacqueline: Mmm, mmm. Fishy on a dishy. *(Mitchell and Mickey stare at Molly's thought bubble) *Mickey: That figures. *(George is looking at their bowl and they are blowing bubbles) *George Jacqueline: What the heck are they bubbling about? I don't really care. *(cut to theme song) *(cut to George sitting on the sofa watching television with the cell phone next to him and Stephanie walks past in some gym clothes holding a gym bag and Sponghuck passes him too) *Stephanie: Hey, George. I'm just off to the gym for my training lessons. *Sponghuck: And I'm going to the park for some fresh air... and peace and quiet. *George Jacqueline: OK and OK. *Stephanie: Can you please make sure Craig doesn't go on my room again? 'Cause we know what he's like in there. But just in case, I sorted him out. *(Craig is shown with his hands tied to his and George's bedroom window by his arms and his tongue is stretched and tied to the front door) *George Jacqueline: Is that why I couldn't shut the door, earlier? *Stephanie: Maybe. Anyway, see you later. *(Stephanie leaves the house) *George Jacqueline: See you, Steph. See you, Sponghuck. *Sponghuck: Pffft. Whatever, *(Sponghuck leaves the house and closes the door) *Craig: (off-screen and muffled) Ouch. *George Jacqueline: *Yawns* Let's change the channel. Many soaps these days have become depressing, repetitive and boring. *(George switches to a shopping channel, than a cooking channel, then to an action hero show for kids) *George Jacqueline: Perfect. *(the cell phone rings) *George Jacqueline: Sponghuck, you're brand new cell phone's ringing! Oh, he went out. I guess I'll have to answer it, then. *(George answers it) *George Jacqueline: *Clears throat* *Singing voice* Hello? *(cut to Lesquik who is walking down the street) *Lesquik: George, is that you? *George Jacqueline: Lesquik? When did Sponghuck get your number? *Lesquik: He told me he was getting a phone, so I gave him his number for when it arrived. How is his phone? *George Jacqueline: Lame. You can't use the Internet, you can't take photos, you can't... *(Lesquik hangs up his phone) *George Jacqueline: Hello? Yo, Lesquik! Must be busy. I wonder who else Sponghuck has. Well, he has no one on this but Lesquik, Jeremiah and... Mayor Goodley? How and why would Spencer Goodley, Mayor of Rainbow City allow him to have his number? Why not me? You know what, I might call him. *(George dials a number) *(cut to Mayor Goodley's house and he is sitting on one of his couches reading a book, when his phone rings) *Mayor Spencer Goodley: Spencer Goodley, Rainbow City Mayor speaking. *George Jacqueline: Mayor? Is that actually you? *Mayor Spencer Goodley: George? Are you using Sponghuck's new phone? *George Jacqueline: Yes. How did Sponghuck get your number? *Mayor Spencer Goodley: Well, after he came back from a successful solo mission, that's what he said anyway, I invited to have a nice posh dinner at the house. He really enjoyed it and he told he he was getting a new phone, so I wrote out my number to him. *George Jacqueline: Nice. Why don't you give ME your number then? *Mayor Spencer Goodley: Maybe soon. When I get the chance. Or if I ever invite you to dinner. *George Jacqueline: Fine. See ya. By the way, tickets to my next gig with Zap Cloud at the Reggafunk Arena are £50 each, but I'm willing to offer you 60% less. *Mayor Spencer Goodley: So... £20? *George Jacqueline: Yep. *Mayor Spencer Goodley: I'll have a look in to it. *George Jacqueline: Ahh, thanks man. Gotta go, OK? OK, see ya mate. *(George hangs up) *George Jacqueline: Hmm... Sponghuck really needs more numbers on this phone. I'll start with mine. (adds his phone number to Sponghuck's phone) There we are. Now, time to take a trip around the city. *(the song Know No Better by Major Lazer ft. Travis Scott, Camila Cabello and Quavo plays) *(cuts to George walking around the city) *George Jacqueline: Some of the citizens are sure to give me, well Sponghuck, their numbers. Then, Sponghuck can talk to as many people as he likes, without getting sick of talking to the same person over and over again. *(the following citizens give him their numbers - Static and Minty, Samson, Joe-Freddie and Octan; Then the Jellycades are about to give George their number) *George Jacqueline: Wait, The Jellycades can go a bit crazy when it comes to phones and electronics and all that other similar stuff. It makes them go... Oh, sod it. *(The red Jellycade gives him their number) *George Jacqueline: Thanks! *Red Jellycade: No problem. *Yellow Jellycade: We should be careful. You know what we're like with phones. *Red Jellycade: Oh, stop being such a square, Yellow. *Yellow Jellycade: I'm already multiple squares and so are you three. *Red Jellycade: Yeah, that's true. *(cut to George talking on Sponghuck's cell phone) *George Jacqueline: *Chuckles* I know. Wait, you've never seen The Bridge on the River Kwai? Oh, it's like an awesome film, man. Check it out. By the way, I heard the Rainbow City Zoo's bringing it's first crimson rose butterflies for it's Butterfly House next week. Oh, their beautiful creatures for their size. *(Sponghuck enters) *George Jacqueline: Yeah, you saw my set last week? It was sick, weren't it? By the way, do you by any chance know fellow Extraordinary Eight member Sponghuck? No? Well, he likes KitKats and he's like Mr. Heckles and Courage the Cowardly Dog fused together. *Sponghuck: George! Just because I don't have ears doesn't mean I can't hear you. *George Jacqueline: Oh, sorry. I gotta go. The chairman of the BBC has dropped by. OK? Bye. (hangs up) *Sponghuck: George, what are you doing? Today you're acting like Bash. And why are you using my cell phone? *George Jacqueline: Well, you told me to keep an eye on it. *Sponghuck: I didn't say you could talk to anyone on it. Oh, who am I kidding? Why don't you keep it? I mean, I only payed for it. It's not like it's important or anything. *George Jacqueline: Oh, thanks. (about to dial again) *Sponghuck: Oi! Get your hands off those! *George Jacqueline: Wait, you just said I could have it. *Sponghuck: Oh! Fine. But, I can use it on very few occasions. Deal? *George Jacqueline: Deal. *(a montage shows George speaking on the phone and Sponghuck gets annoyed each time in the following locations - in the forest from George's Fusion with Scooter, possibly on a mission, in their beds and outside on the beach) *(scene cuts to George and Sponghuck in the supermarket; Sponghuck pushing a trolley of groceries and George is talking on the cell phone) *George Jacqueline: Oh, what did I tell you? *Laughs* I meant turn it down 20 degrees, not turn it up. You're quite stupid at times, but funny. *Sponghuck: Right, George. I want to ask you an important question. *George Jacqueline: Yeah, I know. Here, can you hold on a second? What is it, Sponghuck? *Sponghuck: For the last couple of weeks, you've been speaking on that cell phone so many times. One time you've answered it 14 times in one day and another time, you're call was 7 hours long. *George Jacqueline: Sponghuck, that's a sentence, not a question. *Sponghuck: I'm getting to my question. Who have you been speaking to anyway? *George Jacqueline: Oh, The Jellycades. *Sponghuck: The Jellycades. The Jellycades?! George, you know they go crazy when their using phones and other electronic devices. If they use them too many times without having a break, they go... *(a projectile crashes through the supermarket and nearly hits George and Sponghuck and the other customers go into a panic) *George Jacqueline: Uh... *Sponghuck: ...oh. *(arcade-style music plays and George and Sponghuck run outside to see The Jellycades flying around in unison one above the other while moving side to side and firing projectiles all over the city, causing bits of buildings and other objects to break about and disappear) *Sponghuck: I was gonna end that sentence by saying, they go into... Arcade Mode! *George Jacqueline: (bigger eyes) It's like Space Invaders. Wicked! *Sponghuck: It's wicked, alright. But, we're gonna sort it out! *George Jacqueline: Are we? I mean we are. *Sponghuck: Yep! But keeping ourselves safe. *George Jacqueline: But, we're Rainbow City's... *Sponghuck: I know, but for now, let's forget it! We're going to shield ourselves with... behind you... *(George looks behind him) *George Jacqueline: What? *Sponghuck: Yep. A special Magical Power Defense System. *Geogre Jacqueline: Sponghuck, I don't mean to burst your bubble, literally, but that's not a Magical Power Defense System... it's a combine harvester. And it's not even ours. *(a combine harvester is shown in front of them and Marcus pokes his head out of it) *Marcus: Oi! What do you think you're doing? You're not taking this combine... *(projectiles are fired from the Jellycades and some hit the combine harvester) *Marcus: Oh, my gosh! I'm out of here! *(Marcus drives away backwards) *Sponghuck: OK, Plan B. Fight the Jellycades ourselves! Weapons! *George Jacqueline: OK! *(George summons his bow and arrow and it shoots multiple arrows automatically) *(Sponghuck summons his KitKat gun and Red Skull Shield, shoot some KitKats, one hits Red Jellycade and all four of them look at them) *Sponghuck: Oh, dear. *(The Jellycades fire projectiles at Sponghuck and he shields them) *Sponghuck: *Groans* George, call... Stephanie right... now! *George Jacqueline: OK. (about to dial on the cell phone) *(Sponghuck snatches the cell phone off George) *Sponghuck: No! Not with the cell phone. This is what got us into this situation! Use your mobile phone. And quick! *George Jacqueline: OK, OK. Calm down. (gets out his mobile phone and dials it) *(cut to Stephanie standing outside the house and smoking a cigarette) *Stephanie: Man, this is just what I needed. (her phone rings and she answers it) Hello? *George Jacqueline: Steph! Can you get down here quickly? The Jellycades have gone into Arcade Mode and they're destroying the city! And Sponghuck's shaking! *(Sponghuck is shaking and still shielding projectiles) *Sponghuck: It's because I'm scared they're gonna take make down... without my armour, I'm the weakest on the team, so I'm the easiest to go down. *George Jacqueline: The weakest? Even more than Bash? *Sponghuck: Yes! Because every part of my body is made out of sponge, including my "skeleton". But not my eyeballs. *George Jacqueline: Right. So, why not just get your armour on then? *Sponghuck: Good idea! *(Sponghuck summons his armour) *George Jacqueline: Best summon mine, too. (summons his armour) *Stephanie: Hello? Hello? *George Jacqueline: Steph? Did you hear all that? Jellycades? Arcade Mode? City destroyed? Sponghuck shaking? *Stephanie: Yeah, I heard all that. Even the bits about Sponghuck being the weakest team member and you guys summoning your armour which I probably should do... *George Jacqueline: Stephanie! *Stephanie: OK, OK! Don't panic George, I'm on my way! *(Stephanie hangs up, drops her cigarette on the floor and steps on it, summons her armour then jumps off the rocky hill and she races off to the scene) *(cut to George hiding behind Sponghuck and his shield while The Jellycades are still firing projectiles and his bow keeps shooting arrows automatically) *(Stephanie arrives) *Stephanie: Right, I'm here! But this is going to be pretty difficult. Since they are citizens, we're not going to kill them, we're just gonna calm them down. Craig, what are you doing here? *(Craig appears out of nowhere in his Battle form holding his laser guns) *Craig: I'm here to help fight them. *George Jacqueline: Craig, we didn't even call you. But, since you're here now, let's get them! *(Stephanie summons her spear and tosses it to the Jellycades and it hits the blue Jellycade, causing him to down on the ground) *Red Jellycade: Blue! *Stephanie: Yes! *(the other Jellycades fuse together to make a bigger Jellycade and it fires bigger projectiles at them) *(George goes in front of the others and summons another bow and both bows shoot arrows towards the big Jellycade, with no effect) *George Jacqueline: My arrows aren't hurting it. *Craig: I'll try my lasers. *(Craig fires multiple lasers at the big Jellycade, but again with no effect) *Craig: That didn't work. *(The big Jellycade gets angry, turns bright red and fires bigger projectiles at them and George, Stephanie, Craig and Sponghuck start to get nervous; Sponghuck shakes again) *George Jacqueline: God, please help us. Summon one of your precious angels. *(A projectile flies into one of Craig's guns) *Craig: Woah! That went in so deep. Wait! Craig has a plan! *Sponghuck: That's a... *Groans* ...first. *Craig: Maybe, we can defeat it with it's own projectiles. I'll sneak around it and once I find a good targeting spot, I'll fire the projectile at the big Jellycade to bring it down! Without killing it. *Sponghuck: But, what if they start to shoot you? *Craig: No problem. I'll make myself invulnerable. *Stephanie: You can do that? *(George and Sponghuck look at Stephanie) *Stephanie: What? I didn't know he could. *Craig: If I just switch the gun to the colour... (switches the settings on his other gun to the colour yellow) ...yellow, I can shoot myself with it... *Stephanie: This is so stupid. *(Craig shoots himself with a yellow laser and he becomes invulnerable) *Craig: And I become invulnerable, so nothing evil can hurt me. *Stephanie: This is so not stupid, then. *Craig: There are two issues with this though. One - it only lasts for 10 seconds... *(Craig's invulnerability disappers) *Craig: And the other is that I move slower and on some occassions loose a bit of energy. Luckily, I can do it as many times as I want to. *Sponghuck: You best go ahead and get on with you're plan. When the Jellycade turns away from us. *Craig: OK. *(The big Jellycade turns away and shoots a building) *Craig: Right, then. *(Craig runs near to the big Jellycade, shoots himself with a yellow laser, making him invulnerable and he moves slowly behind the big Jellycade, then his invulnerability disappers, so he does again by shooting himself with another laser and he sneaks past them and moves back slowly) *George Jacqueline: Is he there? *Stephanie: Yep. OK, Craig, go ahead and ope... Hang on... *(Craig is reading a book, still holding his gun with the projectile in; Craig gives a little snigger) *Stephanie: What's he doing? *George Jacqueline: He's reading a book?! *Sponghuck: Maybe they're instructions. *Stephanie: Man! Now what? *George Jacqueline: Craig! Shoot the Jellycade! Do it like you're not reading a book. *Craig: What?! *Gasps* A big Jellycade! *(Craig aims his laser gun to the big Jellycade who's about to shoot another projectile to Craig and he tries to shoot his projectile, but it's stuck) *Craig: Oh, no. The projectile's stuck! Just like I was in Stephanie's room. *Sponghuck: Stuck? Now, what? *(silence for a couple of seconds) *Stephanie: Don't tell me he did what I thought he did. *George Jacqueline: OK, guys. Come on. Let's be serious for a minute. Think... *Gasps* The cell phone! *Sponghuck: Oh, no. *George Jacqueline: Oh, yes! Craig can attach the phone to send microwave signals to the gun, causing it to electrify and he can shoot the projectile then. Come on it's worth a try. *Stephanie: OK, we'll give it a shot. *George Jacqueline: Craig, catch! *(George throws the cell phone and Craig catches it, attaches it to his gun, which starts to shake and electricity spreads all over it) *Craig: Let's end this. *(Both Craig and the big Jellycade shoot their projectiles at the same time) *(The big Jellycade's projectile nearly hits Craig, but he shapeshifts off-screen and Craig's projectile hits the big Jellycade, electrocuting it and causing it to turn back into the three remaining Jellycades; The blue Jellycade comes flying back) *Blue Jellycade: Did we win? *Red Jellycade: What do you... (electrocutes himself) ...think? *(Craig runs back to the others) *Craig: Wow. That was a close "call". *(a Joke Rimshot drum plays) *Craig: Eh? Because we had a phone, so it was a... *George Jacqueline: Bad pun alert. And why aren't we cheering? *Stephanie: Oh, we're not? *(George, Stephanie and Craig cheer, startling Sponghuck, who then starts to cheer boredly) *George Jacqueline: Bring it in, Sponghuck! *(George hugs Sponghuck, but squeezes him too hard) *Sponghuck: Can you stop now? *George Jacqueline: OK. *(George lets go of Sponghuck, who takes a big breath) *Sponghuck: One more squeeze, I would have been reduced to paper. *George Jacqueline: Sorry, man. Jeez. *(the Jellycades float towards them) *George Jacqueline: Oh no, not again! *Red Jellycade: No, no, no, don't worry, we're feeling sober now. We just need to remember not to use electric devices too often, or we'll keep going into Arcade Mode and maybe destroy the whole city. *(Everyone looks at parts of the city destroyed) *Yellow Jellycade: We already have destroyed just tiny teensy weensy little parts of it. *Sponghuck: The construction workers can mend all this. *George Jacqueline: The construction workers are away for a big build... for a whole month. *Sponghuck: What they gonna do? Build castles in the sky? *(a Joke Rimshot Drum plays) *George Jacqueline: Bad pun... *Sponghuck: ...alert. I know. No need to remind me. *George Jacqueline: What do you say we do some prank calls? *Sponghuck: On the cell? *George Jacqueline: Yeah, man! *(the end credits roll and the scene cuts to Scooter watching TV, when his mobile rings and he answers it) *Scooter: Hello? *George Jacqueline: *Squeaky voice* Ahh, Scooter. Word of advice. Don't skate on thin ice. *Scooter: I beg your pardon? *(George, Craig, Sponghuck and the Jellycades are outside the house with the cell phone laughing) *Sponghuck: Well we found one use of this phone. And I haven't smiled, lot alone laughed for 52 years. *George Jacqueline: You said it. *Sponghuck: Course I did. No one else was speaking. *Stephanie: Guys, this is so stupid. I'm going out to see my friends. *(Stephanie walks off and the others continue laughing and Scooter comes out to laugh with them, then they all stop, all looking confused) *Sponghuck: Actually, she's right. This is stupid. Category:Transcripts Category:Weird World: The TV Show Season 1 transcripts Category:Weird World Category:Pages by The Golden Cubit